Last night in our Fall Sits Meditation Series, we explored how the Buddhist practice of lovingkindness meditation (metta in Pali) can serve as a powerful remedy for our troubled hearts and minds. It may feel natural to send lovingkindness toward those who are easy to love, who have served as your benefactors, and who bring you peace and comfort. But when turning attention to those who spark in us feelings of anger, ill will, fear, or aggression, it can seem counterintuitive or risky to wish them well. This meditation invites a different perspective.
In yoga there is a style of pranayama (breathing practice) called viloma, which in Sanskrit means "against the grain." It is to pause in the midst of an inhale or an exhale in order to emphasize the less dominant or less comfortable breath part. For example, a habitually heavy exhaler who finds inhaling challenging might try pausing at intervals during the inhale to enhance its effects and make it more accessible; vice versa for the over-emphasized inhaler. I view lovingkindness meditation, when offered to our perceived foes, as a sort of mental viloma. It goes against the grain to send kindness to someone I imagine personifies the opposite, but the beings I am least inclined to love and wish well upon are probably the ones who need it most. An important reminder is that I am not offering them kindness in the belief that I have the power to to change their behavior or ignite the light of goodness in them. Instead, I am offering it as a reminder that they cannot dim that light in me.
Here is a formula for lovingkindness meditation that you can try:
Find a steady seat and a few calm breaths to get centered and tune in to your own tender heart.
Bring yourself to mind first, and say a few silent wishes such as, "may I be happy, may I be free from suffering, may I be at peace."
Then bring to mind those you find easy to love, and repeat the same phrases on their behalf: "May they be happy, may they be free from suffering, may they be at peace."
Do the same for the benefactors who have graced you with love and support.
Repeat for neutral acquaintances.
Tap your deepest well of courage and repeat these phrases for those whom you experience as challenging, unkind, or evil.
Finally, repeat these same phrases for all beings.
Wishing you waves of peace,
Annie